Love, Jovy

Be the Eucharist

2011-12-01T12:52:00.000-08:00

Along with my last post I'd like to share an opportunity to be the Eucharist and to also sow a seed into my life.

Three ways you can be The Eucharist to Durban, South Africa:

1. Pray For:

· Wisdom for our team leader Pastor Bernard

· Clear vision of God’s purpose and plan for this trip

· Insight and understanding for the people and culture of Durban, South Africa

· Safe travels and smooth planning of all details

· God to prepare the hearts of the people we will meet

· Team unity

· For me to have an open heart for and trust that God is doing His will for my life.

2 Support financially:

The total cost for the trip is $3600 per person ((inclusive of airfare, lodging, supplies) and 100% is due on January 13th. I will be giving large portions of my own income to pay for this trip and would be blessed to have your financial support! No amount is too small! You can give in two easy ways:

By Mail:

In this letter is enclosed a Donation Tracking Slip. Fill the tracking slip out along with a check made payable to Discovery Church and “South Africa” in the memo. Mail check and slip to:

Discovery Church/GlobalWorks

4400 S. Orange Ave

Orlando, FL 32806

Online:

To pay with a credit/debit card go to

Mission Connex

Find my name “Jovanna Rivera” under the Who are you supporting drop down box. Follow instructions.

*Funds are only tax deductable and accepted by giving through mail or online.

3. Get Connected:

South Africa 2012

More Information on the two organizations we will be serving:

Christian Life Centre

Genesis Trust

Again, I am thankful for your consideration, prayers and support.

With love,

Jovy

The Good Gift

2011-11-28T16:26:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends & Family

I hope this letter finds you well. Many of you have received a letter like this from me several years ago. I am so excited to tell you about this new season of my life and where His heart is taking me to next. I am now exactly one year, six months, and 10 days post grad and I am now a nurse at MD Anderson Cancer Center and it has been a blessing to be there for my patients in their time of need. If you know me well, you know that my heart has always been to allow God to use my passion and nursing skills in other parts of the world. This year I was chosen to go on a Global Serving Trip with Discovery Church. No it’s not to China again! On February 11-25 2012 we will be going to Durban, South Africa. I am excited to have the opportunity to continue following His heart to a new country and in a new way!

Why South Africa, you may be asking. Two prominent issues in South Africa are HIV/AIDS and poverty. South Africa has a population of 50 million people with around 5.3 million people are living with HIV/AIDS and 370,000 die of AIDS each year leaving many children orphaned and with HIV/AIDS. There is also 50% of the population that live below the poverty line and many live without the basic needs of food, shelter, and medical care. We will be partnering with two established organizations Genesis Trust and Christian Life Centre. Both of these organizations operate to provide shelter, food, medical care, and most importantly the love of a family to homeless orphans, most of whom are

HIV positive. We will be assisting orphans, with emotional support, medical care, education and helping their leaders with business counseling so that they can continue caring for these special need orphans.

I’d love to share something I have learned in “the process.” In college as I was getting to know the heart of God, he gave me a passion and burden for the fatherless. He showed me how love can truly make a difference in the lives of orphans and that I was created to be his gift to these children. I learned the English word for “the good gift” is the “Eucharist.” Jesus is the good gift and we are also the good gift to this world. Rob Bell in his book “Jesus Wants to Save Christians” talks about the Eucharist and asks:

“What does it look like for us to be a Eucharist for the people here and now? In other words what is the church supposed to look like? "What does it look like for us to break ourselves open and poor ourselves out for the healing of these people (the lost, the hungry, the angry, the rich, the poor) in this time and place?"The Eucharist is people. The Eucharist is the church. We are the good gift.”

"Our destiny, our future, and our joy are in the Eucharist, using whatever blessing we've received, whatever resources, talents, skills, and passions God has given us, to make the world a better place. Disconnection from the suffering of the world, isolation from the cry of the oppressed, indifference to the poverty around us will always lead to despair."

I don't ever want to be disconnected from my destiny. From the cry of those who are broken, fatherless, and hopeless. And this is why I am sharing this opportunity with you. We are the good gift. Each of us connected to one another, each of us with gifts, talents, and resources, yearning to be a part of something bigger than us. I hope that you see this as an opportunity to be the good gift to the people of Durban, South Africa. That you see this as a connection to those in need in a place outside of your home and city. Because we were made for so much more!!!

With love,

Jovanna Rivera

I will try to fix you

2011-07-05T22:35:00.000-07:00

When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
COULD IT BE WORSE?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

-Lyrics from Coldplay's "Fix You"

My Happy Place

2011-07-05T19:44:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when the sky is overcast, the air is wet, birds are chirping, and dogs are barking, I close my eyes and remember. I remember a place where I first experienced God in a way very few get to. I remember gently kissing the tiny face of an orphaned baby named Noah. I remember singing songs to God under the dark sky with Christians willing to risk their lives to serve Christ. There are no words to describe that night. I remember the long walks to the foster home along the river. The peace, the joy, the love. It was a place overflowing with all of God's goodness. It was my happy place.

China really is where the heart is.

Sweet Girl From Montana

2011-01-18T13:25:00.000-08:00

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear."

1 John 4:18

Sunday was the day I had been praying for since May. The day I had been faithfully waiting for. The day my love and parents and friends have been encouraging me to never give up on. (yes you did see the words "my love," details later). Sunday was my first day as a nurse on a hospital unit.

I love keeping journals and writing blogs like these. Not just for others to read (although my hope is that through my words and experiences a life is changed and seeds are sown), but I do this more for me. To read and look back and see all of the good and bad. To see how far God has taken me. To laugh and cry and realize that life with God truly is an adventure. I wouldn't have it any other way. He is truly the way the truth and the life!

I looked back today. Remembering all of the tears, lonely nights, doubts, and fears I had about life back home, life after college. I looked back at the process, the mistakes I made, and the victories I had and I realized:

-that everything under the sun has its seasons,

-Everything truly does work out for those who love and seek God,

-His grace is sufficient,

-and that a man can plan his life, but God is the one who orders their steps.

I love when the word of God becomes life to a person. They aren't just words on pages anymore. I love moments like these.

So back to Sunday. It was exciting and nerve-wrecking all at the same time. So many things to remember, and so many things you forget. You feel awkward and confident in some areas, happy, and scared all at the same time. And I can already see how easy it is to join the masses of burnt-out, gossipy, average nurses. This is going to be hard. But I know that He is good. That all He does is good. So I put my life in His hands, Taking one day at a time. Because I am His alone and because His perfect love casts out all fear. I will set my eyes on Him. I know who I am in Him. No matter what happens, the mistakes I have made and will make, I am His and His alone. I am His nurse, His daughter, His friend, His beloved.

On a lighter, but not less important note: I found someone!! Well I guess we found each other. His name is Walas and he is changing me. It is rare to meet people in your life that cause you to draw closer to God, that makes you want to be a better woman, and that you know, no matter what happens, they will leave a footprint on your heart. I have met him and I am so blessed to have him in my life.

Oh and on Sunday, one of my patients called me "the sweet girl from Montana who they made a movie about." Yes I know, it sucks being as hot as Hannah Montana!!!!!!!

Love,

Jovy

The Eucharist

2010-11-30T07:12:00.000-08:00

I am currently reading "Jesus Wants to Save Christians" and I am loving it. It gets better and better every chapter. Rob Bell uses the bible so much in his stories that it makes me hungry for more! In the chapters that I have been reading he talks about The Eucharist. He tells us that the Greek word for "Thankful" is from the verb eucharizomai-the Greek word eu, which means "well" or "good" and the word charizomai, which means "to grant or give." Which is where we get the English word Eucharist, the "good gift." He goes on describing the profound meaning of the Eucharist and how Jesus is the good gift and how we are also the good gift to the world.

He asks the question:
What does it look like for us to be a Eucharist for the people here and now? In other words what is the church supposed to look like? "What does it look like for us to break ourselves open and poor ourselves out for the healing of these people (the lost, the hungry, the angry, the rich, the poor) in this time and place?"
The Eucharist is people. The Eucharist is the church. We are the good gift.

I love this:
"Our destiny, our future, and our joy are in the Eucharist, using whatever blessing we've received, whatever resources, talents, skills, and passions God has given us, to make the world a better place. Disconnection from the suffering of the world, isolation from the cry of the oppressed, indifference to the poverty around us will always lead to despair." I don't ever want to be disconnected from my destiny. From the cry of those who are broken, fatherless, and hopeless. Because my life will mean nothing. It will lead to despair.

Because I know the truth that sets us free, I have gifts and talents that God has given me, and because I have the love of God in my heart, it is my destiny to be a Eucharist in my city, here, and now!

Because we were made for so much more!!!

Love you,
Jovy

Such a Beautiful Surrender

2010-11-15T14:35:00.000-08:00

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalms 37:4

It's crazy how truly mysterious God is. You can be a Christian your whole life, and still be amazed at His awesomeness. You can convince yourself that you know it all and yet we really know nothing. Oh how He loves us and cares about every detail of our lives. If only we could truly grasp how wide, long, high, and deep His love is for us. Everything, all the things of this Earth, would fade away.

My friends, I know that since we parted ways in May, the things of this Earth have hit us hard!!! Some with heartache, some with school, some with family, and some with economic hardships. But I just wanted to remind you of His Sovereignty. Our God is still the same God who spoke to you in your dreams. The same God who got you through senior paper. The same God who took you places you could've never imagined. The same God who held you in His arms those nights you cried "why God, why." The same God who showed you that you are His nurse and nobody else's. He is the God who was, and is, and is to come.

Remember my friends where you came from, where you are now, and where you are going is all because of His love for you.

"Surrender has somehow become so beautiful" -Mutemath

I love you,
Jovy

Slow Dancing

2010-08-19T21:46:00.000-07:00

As I am going through one of the hardest times of my young adult life (transition from college to adulthood) I am so tempted to lose the faith. It is unbelievably harder than I thought it would be. But everyday a sweet sweet voice always reminds me of who He is and who I am.

I am currently listening to the amazing Phil Wickham. He puts me in the mood! :-) I want to slow dance with my first love, the lover of my soul, my beloved. That would be something!!!

Listen and fall in love with the maker.

I Don't Work for Free

2010-07-21T20:27:00.001-07:00

"A Message from your Heart"

Don't break me, I bruise easily
The source of both your love and misery

I am steady, beating endlessly
While you are dozing, dreaming pretty things
Lovely things

I don't work for free
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Don't hurt me, I bleed constantly
My efforts leave me but flow back swiftly

My rhythm, soothing, like raindrops steady
On foggy windows when you gaze outwardly
Peacefully

I don't work for free
Please take care of me
Please take care of me

This is a message from your heart
Your most devoted body part
Taking blood and making art
This is a message from your heart
Pounding away into the dark
You could thank me for a start
This is a message from your heart

Everytime you sleep
Everytime you eat
Everytime you laugh
Everytime you cry
Every time you love

-Kina Grannis

Fly Away

2010-07-13T20:10:00.000-07:00

I just wished upon a star tonight.

I wished that I could grow a pair of wings overnight so that when morning comes I could pack my things and fly back to my beloved China. Okay so I am dreaming. I sometimes, and lately now more than ever, wonder what the hell am I doing here?

God give me the grace to understand things that I cannot.

Give me the courage to change the things that I can

And the wisdom to know the difference.

I trust you.

I love you.

You are and will always be sovereign.

Love,

Jovy

VANGUARD

2010-05-28T12:56:00.000-07:00

Okay so I'll admit that these past five years in college I have had no time to care about the things going on in this nation and in other parts of the world. I was consumed with textbooks, papers, friends, and laziness. Yes that is no excuse. Although I did read many articles and books that brought awareness to global events, and that I am proud of!

I recently found yet another TV series to get addicted to, but this one I don't feel as guilty. VANGUARD is a documentary series with no limits!!! It airs on Wednesdays 10/9c and it is AWESOME. It combines my love for traveling/culture/journalism into a fun, informative, captivating television show. My first episode was called Missionary of Hate and it made me so angry. Like the way God gets angry. I immediately got hooked. From what I've seen they seem to be unbiased, young, ambitious journalists inspired to tell the stories of past and current.

Click Here to check it out!

Love,

Jovy

Ps. Adam Yamaguchi..so my ideal Asian guy!!!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-05-26T18:28:00.000-07:00

Finito!

2010-05-23T16:54:00.000-07:00

I will proudly admit that the season 6 finale of LOST has made me a little emotional. It is one of the very few shows I have been faithful to (see I don't have commitment issues). The only sad thing about this epic moment in the history of prime television is that I have no body to share it with. Seriously why don't more people watch the most amazing television series ever made by man? I've always wondered that. If you are cool, funny, witty, then you are watching the last ever episode of LOST with me in spirit. I can feel your heart as it is both sad to say goodbye but excited to get some answers.

Here are some of my favorite LOST quotes that only cool, funny, witty, & faithful fans will appreciate!

"Come with me if you want to live" -John Locke

"We're the good guys Michael" -Ben

"Somebody's hooked on Phonics" -Sawyer

"Not Penny's boat" -Charlie

"Freckles! I got so many answers to your question, I wouldn't even know where to start." -Sawyer

"Shut up Red..neck...man." -Hurley"

"You all everybody...you all every body!!!" -Charlie

"You're not supposed to die, the island needs you!" -Hurley

Love,

Jovy

Update: 4.5 hours later the finale event is over. I am temped to stay up and watch Jimmy Kimmel live because they'll all be on it! Probably not a good idea! Oh I can't believe its done! 6 seasons and it's finally done! No more questions. The end was beautiful!!!!

WOK ATTACK!!!!

2010-05-21T18:11:00.000-07:00

I feel oriental today!

I recently purchased this awesome wok from IKEA. Only $7.99. But do not underestimate its wok power based on that oh so cheap price.

One of my heart's desires was to cultivate the art of cooking whenever I got out of college and actually had a life. And today that journey began!! My cousin bought her sister and I a wok and pasta cookbook from IKEA and this week was my turn to try a wok recipe.

Anything Asian excites me and anything creative ignites my heart. Okay a little dramatic, but seriously I think I will really enjoy my new found passion for cooking, especially Asian food. Today I worked up the courage to try my first recipe, "Beef with Spinach and Mango." It was a simple recipe and my parents weren't interested in the other ones I had in mind. I will soon make them try it all and they will love it! Instead of beef I used pork loin. I'm not much of a beef or pork eater, but pork loin is fast and perfect for this recipe. When cooking in a wok the actual cooking time is a lot faster than the preparation. I was scared at how fast it took to cook. I literally was holding my breath. Cooking in a wok is exhilarating. The sounds, the smells, and the smoke rising from the wok gave me an adrenalin rush. Mostly because I didn't expect it to cook so fast. The finished product was delectable. The mangoes, though you would never think, made it taste fabulous!

Here is the recipe for those of you who are brave enough to cook in a wok. Ha, it's really not that bad. It's actually quite simple. "The worldwide success of cooking with a wok is based on a convincingly simple concept: fresh ingredients, short cooking times and aromatic spices. Whether vegetarian, poultry, meat, fish or seafood-uncomplicated and delicious dishes can be created within minutes using a wok. (I) would like to introduce you to this fascinating equipment that has become the epitome of healthy cooking" -my wok cook book

Ingredients:

1lb of beef (or whatever meat you'd like)

7 oz of leaf spinach

1 ripe mango

2 mild green chilies (I used red and green bell peppers instead)

2 tbsp of soy sauce

3 tbsp of veg. oil

3 tbsp of sweet and sour sauce (ready made)

2 tbsp of oyster sauce (I didn't use this-yuck!!)

1/2 bunch of Thai basil (its to make it pretty, so basically unnecessary)

I also made noodles on the side.

It's as easy as 1,2, 3:

1:Cut the meat into strips. Rinse the spinach, dry and cut roughly. Peel the mango and cut into diamond shapes. Wash the chilies (or bell peppers) and chop.

2: Heat the oil in a wok, sear the spinach and chopped chilies (meaning move around the ingredients quickly for about 1-2 minutes) and remove. Use the same oil for frying the meat on high heat. Pour in the soy and oyster sauce.

3: Add the mango pieces to the meat. Finally, return the spinach and peppers and mix with meat. Season to taste with sweet and sour sauce. Serve sprinkled with some Thai basil leaves.

Serving size: 4

I hope I inspired you to venture into the world of cooking with a wok. Those Asians are freakin' smart!!!

My next Asian dish that I will attempt to make so reminds me of one of my favorite dishes from Qingyundian, China:

Sweet Garlic Eggplants!!! MMMMmmm

Stay tuned for more adventures in the kitchen!

Love, Jovy

Get Over It!!!

2010-05-13T18:59:00.000-07:00

Just posting a blog to verbally spank myself and to remind myself that my life is not my own anymore.

Love,

Jovy

Ps. Thanks Carrie

My Love

2010-05-09T21:31:00.000-07:00

For the plans I have for you are good. The life that so many dream, but never attain, you will live. Because you understand the cost and worth of the cross. You understand what it means to walk down the narrow road.

So let go.

Let go of everything you've held on to. Right now in this season, letting go is vital if you want what I have for you, you must let go and trust that I love you.

I love you with an unfailing love. I know that you cannot fathom it, but you can feel it. It guides you, disciplines you, comforts you, and gives you joy. My love, the narrow road will become much harder as you begin this new journey. But know that

I am with you,

I am mighty to save,

I take great delight in you,

I will quiet you with my love,

I rejoice over you with singing,

and My grace is all you need.

With steadfast love,

Your beloved

Almost Wordless Saturday

2010-05-08T15:03:00.000-07:00

I wanted to take the time and say that I am so blessed to have such a loving, beautiful, inspiring, supportive mother!! I love you Mami!

Happy Mother's Day!

Sorry fellow bloggers for the incorrect usage of Wordless Wednesday. This blog isn't wordless and it isn't Wednesday . :-)

I heart Train

2010-05-06T11:44:00.000-07:00

I love discovering new artists. Although Train has been around for a while now, I honestly have not had time to care about music. That makes me sad. But now I have sooooo much time on my hands. It's exciting. I love discovering new, old, and different music. My old friend Willie gave me a new found appreciation for music several years ago. I think he has over a million songs on his iTunes. Probably exaggerating but almost.

Back to Train. I seriously have listened to ALL of their songs these past 5 days of being a post-grad. They are AWESOME. And I already have 3 favorites!!

Favorite #1: "Hey Soul Sister"

Favorite #2: "Marry Me"

Favorite #3: "Brick by Brick"

Enjoy!

Love, Jovy

"Yatta!!!!!"

2010-04-20T15:47:00.000-07:00

<--- (Hiro Nakamura from HEROES)

For “not to change, to stay on the path of slow death, is…hell. The difference is that the hell of deep change is the hero’s journey. The Journey puts us on a path of exhilaration, growth, and progress. The hero finds strength, power, vitality, and energy in change. In experiencing deep change, our selfishness dies." -Crosby (an actually useful textbook from Patterns of Leadership in Nursing!)

A young, immature, and naive 18 year old once took a leap of faith. She left her home and everything she had known to go on a journey. Where that journey would take her, she had no idea! The only thing she knew, was that this journey was important and vital to the call placed on her heart. This journey would require deep change. A metamorphosis! And it would not be easy. Who wants to live in Tulsa, OK with strange people? I mean it's in the middle of nowhere! Who wants to leave all the comforts of home and culture? Who wants to be molded, stretched, and lonely? But, Oh the places this journey took her on and Oh, the woman she has become!

Five years! Five years of deep change. And it was so worth it! I am now officially an ORU alumni!! It is my third day as a post-grad. So far it's still scary. I mean who wants to grow up? :-) Who wants to say goodbye to irreplaceable friends? Who wants to have a full-time job that you may not be happy with. Who wants bills and more bills? I've so far cleaned out everything in my room, moved things around in my room, bought paint for my room, have an interview on Thursday, studied for NCLEX, got to see my lovely friend Michael, shopped, spent time with my dad, and haven't had much sleep. All to keep myself busy (minus the spending time with my friend and my parents).

But I am reminded that I am on a different journey now. Yes it will be nothing like the one that ended three days ago, but it will be good. I know it will! This journey will continue to change me. I will discover new things about myself, God, love, and life! The sky is my limit!! That is exciting!!!! That is what makes the hero's journey exhilarating. Knowing that in a few years I could end up anywhere; home, back to China, married, a mother, a nurse practitioner, a student again!! What an adventure I am on!!

But this journey will require once again, deep change. And like I experienced in the last 5 years, it will not be easy. The beginning is always hard. But I know someone who is always with me, guiding me, and loving me.

In Him, I put my trust.

Love,

Jovy

Skirt and Chacos

2010-03-28T19:47:00.001-07:00

So I love eavesdropping! Especially with my BFF for life, Mel.

One thing that I can say I will truly miss about the Green Country (aka Tulsa, Ok) are its awesome coffee shops. One in particular Shades of Brown will always carry with me memories of countless studying (one day we were there for approximately 10 hours), fun study breaks (my nose ring), really good vanilla chai tea lattes, and definitely its variety of interesting people and their interesting conversations.

The other day I was enjoying a night of studying with Kimi, Justin, and Mel. We were sitting awkwardly close to a table with two love seats where two men were having an interesting conversation. Oh no! Distraction! Mel and I love eavesdropping and analyzing people and their conversations. I'd like to say that this is a good trait. We are people persons right??

Here goes the hilarious conversation and chain of events.

-Mel and I attempting to study.

-Two college-aged white guys sit down in the love seats.

-Guy #1 begins conversation of how his EX hurt him.

-Mel and I look at each other, the note passing and quiet laughter begins

(Apparently Guy #1 was cheated on and will be seeing her the next day and Guy #2 was his loyal Christian friend giving him sound advice).

Here is my favorite part of the conversation:

Guy #2: So how do you think you'll feel when you see her? Do you think you'll get back with her?

Guy #1 (in a what seems to be hopeless and serious tone of voice) Ugh She's smart. I KNOW she's gonna wear my favorite outfit. She's gonna wear her skirt and Chacos. Ughhh She's gorgeous. I love that outfit! I KNOW she's gonna wear it!!

-I write Mel a note "What are Chacos? I want some!!!!!"

-Mel replies "I know. I'm gonna google Chacos!"

-Mel shows me what they are:

-We almost DIED laughing!!

I was expecting some really cute high heels! But no, this guy gets turned on by the most hideous shoes that are meant for hiking and nature stuff! haha!!! A friend suggested we should have intervened and told the guy to stop being a pansy, the girl cheated on you and wears hideous shoes! Maybe we should have!

Oh man I will forever remember his expression of how much he loved the "skirt and Chacos" Single ladies it is all about the skirt and Chacos!!!

Jovy

Ps. For women who own a pair, in no way do I think that you shouldn't wear them. I just don't think a guy should be turned on by them. They are meant for hiking. If you have a pair for comfort and hiking...I am so not opposing that!!

I own a pair of sandal crocs for shower shoes!!

The Lord Will Receive Me

2010-02-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

"Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me" Psalms 27

I am amazed at the resilience and joy these little ones have. Despite being abandoned and special needs, because of the love New Day so freely gives and God working through them, these children overcome so many obstacles. Even though Tristan did not get to have a forever family and live many years, he spent almost 2 years with a loving family at New Day. Who could ask for anything better than more than one mom, more than one dad, a grandpa, an uncle, a dog, a goat, lots of food, lots of fun, and lots of ayi's!!!

Please continue praying for the New Day Foster Home staff in China. (Photo from NDFH blog)

Love,

Jovy

Wo ai...

2010-02-14T14:33:00.000-08:00

The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves that we find in them." Thomas Merto

I need to work on this!

Happy Love Day!!!!

The One Whom My Soul Loves...

2010-02-08T20:52:00.000-08:00

Can I be transparent with you?

Perhaps I am feeling this way because a certain holiday is coming up. But, honestly I have been wanting to put these feelings into words for months now. But, I'll blame it on the holiday! :-) Writing this on a public blog is not easy for me. But I find strength when my thoughts are out there, because they have been hidden inside of me for a while now. You see, for almost 23 years now, it has been God and I. I've been shaped and molded, torn apart, and put back together. I've had the most amazing college experience any one could ask for. Fell in love with a country that was once foreign to me. Found life and more life. Met amazing people and have some of the most amazing friends! My family is doing well. All is well with my soul.

But I long for this one thing. This one thing that I have unintentionally ignored for years. This one thing that I have yet to find, but at least I attempted to more than once. I so desire to find it. Or for it to find me. I do not care how it happens. All I know is that I am ready for it. And when it comes I will give my all to it. Like I always do. I'll trust in it. I'll believe in it. I'll be patient with it.

I think I didn't realize how ready I was until I almost had it.

This thing my heart longs to find is love and it is somewhere out there. Waiting for me. And this man who is waiting, He too desires to find a love like the one I desire. He is ready. Ready to risk everything. Ready to be about us. He is not perfect, but willing. Willing to love me, to be what I need him to be, willing to go wherever God wants us to go. He is ready to receive all the love I have to give and let it grow. Grow like the metamorphosis of a butterfly. From the inside out. And one day it will soar to such great heights. He too wants to be about something greater than the two of us.

Perhaps I know this man already, but time has never been our good friend. But, maybe I have never met him. Maybe he will be a beautiful surprise. When I least expect it. But I fear time will never be our good friend or I will never meet this man. All I can do is wait and trust.

And one day, I will get to say that I have found the one whom my soul loves.

Oh the day!

Love, Jovy

With secrets and guestures and looks...sonnets and second-hand books.

2010-01-25T22:37:00.000-08:00

I am in love with this song. And one day I will dance to it. On that special day, with that special man! I found this random guy who did a cover to it. Loved it and wanted to post it (in case he becomes famous!)

The song is called "The Thief" and it is by Brooke Fraser (one of my favorite singers from New Zealand). Enjoy!

And this is the cover:

A trip down Memory Lane!

2010-01-16T22:22:00.000-08:00

Okay so I have learned something about myself. If I am really bored, or really procrastinating, I will sign in to my Myspace!! I hate Myspace! Too much sex offenders and weirdos trying to add me as a friend! (okay so they are probably normal people, but I don't know them!) But just for the heck of it I like to see if people have written on my wall every couple of months. Nobody important has so I started to look at my pictures (which is the only reason why I haven't deleted my Myspace. Is it correct grammar if I say, I haven't deleted myspace? It sounds funny...my Myspace).Well I definably took a ride down memory lane today. I think it was more emotional because of the fact that I will be leaving ORU where I have spent the last 5 years of my life. It's sad to think that this place will soon be a memory. Here are some of my Myspace pictures that I will soon put all in a cd so that I can delete my useless Myspace account!!!

My freshman year! 2005! It was my birthday and thats Jeanine..love her!

My first trip to China! 2006! On the great wall!

My sophmore year! 2007! Moriah Banquet!

Mutemath with Mel and Kimi and random people

Fall 2007 (my first jr year)!

I got to celebrate my 21st twice! Once at ORU at an amazing dance party at Jeremy's with Mel and the other at home with all my lovely Orlando people!!! It was the best. Couldn't have asked for anything better!!!! Fall 2007!

One day we had an ice storm fall of 2007. Look how magical the trees and bushes looked!

Love, Jovy

Life and more LIfe..

2010-01-14T16:56:00.000-08:00

My day started at 5 a.m. on this lovely Thursday morning.

I had serious insomnia last night and thankfully woke up (though, like always, I had the irrational thought "it's okay you don't have to go to clinical! Sleeeppp). I woke up this morning yearning to reflect on things. Weird because usually I am in SUCH a bad mood this early. So with the spare 10 minutes I had, I wrote in my journal and opened the Bible. I'm not much of a memorizing bible verse person, but this verse has become, I guess you can say, my philosophy of life. This is what Matthew. 7:13 says:

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow is the road that leads to life, but only a few find it.

If you have grown up in church like I have, unfortunately this verse has been played down way too much. Few churches teach the significance of this verse and what it should mean to us. It wasn't meant to be read and think "oh that's nice" then go about your day.This verse encourages us to find that life that He so desires for us to attain. Our "promised land." This is the key to knowing how to LIVE life versus just getting through it.I have met people who chose to walk down the narrow road, and there is something different about the way they live their life. They LIVE life the way we were suppose to experience it. I yet have words to describe what that means. But I too want that. I am striving to walk down the narrow road. Even though I may rear off to the side at times, I get back on it. No matter how painful, confusing, lonely, and exhausting it may seem at times. I see that it is so worth it. I have discovered life and more life.

How do you "find" life? I encourage you to reflect on what walking down the narrow road looks like for you. Trust me it will be worth it.

So worth it!

Love, Jovy

2010-01-11T15:40:00.001-08:00

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I- I took the one less traveled by,

and that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

I See You...

2010-01-03T18:10:00.000-08:00

(Me and my 3D Avatar shades! If I were a gamer I would so buy the video game, but thankfully I am not!)---->

I feel inspired! I love when I see God in things that aren't labeled "Christian." Can I just say that AVATAR is probably one of the best movies EVER made by man! I absolutely fell in love with it. I can't say that about many movies. 5 stars from this movie critic!

AVATAR reminded me of Missions & Culture with good ole Dr. Smith! Many ORU'ers can agree with me that every time you entered into that man's class you never knew what to expect. He either loved you that day, or thought you all were idiots and didn't have a heart for missions (then he'd cancel the class and make you cry, but still gave a final and you'd still get an A! Oh Mel that was funny!) But, I understood where he was coming from, well sort of! His life was missions. It wasn't some 2 week trip with 20 college-aged Jesus freaks ready to save Africa! He lived and breathed missions. He understood what so many Christians have failed to see when bringing the Gospel to another country and even to your neighbor. You must go with your cup empty. So many of us go with our cups full.

It reminded me of the day Dr. Smith brought in a TV and videotape player on one of those cart stand thing with wheels they used in high school. As we watched an episode from Star Trek, I wondered has this man gone insane? It was a question I often asked in his class. But I was intrigued because I respected him and wanted to learn from him. There was a message from this episode of Star Trek that somehow related to missions and culture that he wanted us to grasp. The episode ended and I understood. It was beautiful! It changed the way I viewed missions and Christianity as a whole.

The mission of Spak was to go and communicate with another people in the middle of a civil war in a language not understood by him or any of the crew members. It taught us that learning a people and their culture is vital. So many Christians get so caught up in the mentality that we are somehow "better" than them because we are Americans who know and serve a mighty God and they are poor and do not know God. We do not say it out loud and yes a lot of us have good intentions and pure hearts. But so many of us fail to understand that we must go with our cups empty. How can a person trust us when we do not know them. We don't know their story, how they speak, how they think, why they do what they do. I learned that it is so important to learn the culture and learn our neighbor before asking if they are "saved!" It was a good lesson learned. I will forever remember Dr. Smith and what he wanted to teach us through his class.

I was reminded of the passion for learning other cultures I gained that semester. My dream is to some day live among another people. Go with my cup empty. Learn their ways. And somehow God will reveal himself through the relationships and time spent learning them. To me there is nothing more beautiful then two different people realizing that they are the same. It makes this whole creation story real. It shows that we are all made in His image!

It makes me feel small and God big!

We truly live in a beautiful, yet hurting world.

Love, Jovy

Ps. If you haven't seen AVATAR...go! Go now!

Class of 2010!!!

2009-11-27T12:09:00.001-08:00

So I am finally a senior and I am beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel!!! Oh the thought of the day where I walk across the stage brings joy to my oh so eager little heart!!! As some of you may know I have been at ORU for four years going on five!! That's way too long! At least longer than I expected. You know a lot of the times you have a plan in your head, you see that it will work out perfectly...then it doesn't! At first it sucked. I mean it turned my world upside down when I found out I did not pass my nursing classes (2 out of 3). But I see the beauty in all of it now.

If I HAD passed I would have graduated with a very competitive class and I would have been working right now. At my maturity level, i'm not quite sure how I would have handled that. Plus I looked like I was 18 and still do!!! Not sure how my patients would have handled that. And honestly I would have not been ready to be the nurse that I was suppose to be.

Now I see that I am becoming His nurse. I feel so much more confident. I went to China twice because of my setback. And most of all I have some of the most AMAZING friends!!

So for me, my senior year in college means so much to me. I am not taking any moment for granted. I am taking advantage of everything ORU has to offer. I am having a blast with my girls. And so last Saturday we were blessed by Caitlin who took us on a photoshoot for our senior portraits. Here are some pics! Enjoy!!!

My tattoo has a lot of meaning. It symbolizes all that God did in my time here and my summers in China and I hope to never forget it. (It translates into "beloved" in mandarin and has a red thread wrapped around the characters. Beloved was a song I sang to the children at the foster home and the red thread is from an old Chinese belief that An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break. Parents who abandon their child will often times tie a red thread around their wrist or ankle.

We love sitting here at night!! One of our favorite spots! (the steps to our dorm rooms)

Look closely at our coffee sleeves!! (well if u can't see it has boxes checked that say our name, RN, BSN)

Love, Jovy

I Will Waste My LIfe...

2009-11-17T22:20:00.000-08:00

I will waste my life,

I'll be tested and tried.
With no regrets inside of me,
Just to find I'm at your feet,
Let me find I'm at your feet.

I leave my father's house, and
I leave my Mother.
I leave all I have known, and
I'll have no other.

For I am in love with you,
and there is no cost.
I am in love with you,
and there is no loss.
I am in love with you,
I want to take your name.
I am in love with you,
I want to cling to you, Jesus,

I say goodbye to my father, my mother,
I turn my back on every other lover, and I
Press on, yes I press on.

-Misty Edwards

And I press on!!!! For them, for the hurting, the dirty, and the dying. Because my life is not my own anymore. I will stop wasting it, stop fighting it, stop giving in, stop questioning it. I will only give it. To Him, to them, to my friends, my family. And one day to the man who feels the same way!

Oh and we will go to such great heights! And they will see us waving, "come down now," they'll say, but everything looks perfect from far away, "come down now," but we'll say!

Love, Jovy

Catch It!

2009-08-03T19:42:00.000-07:00

So I have a confession to make! I have been living vicariously through Anthony Bourdain from the show "No Reservations" on the travel channel. Can I say Anthony Bourdain is the man! I secrectly wish he was one of my uncles. How cool would that be! Uncle Tony and I sitting on his porch in Vietnam drinking some really cool foreign drink he discovered and chatting about his great adventures. I could listen to him talk about culture, people, and food all day long.

I've always thought, if this nursing thing doesn't work out, I would love to major in Anthropology or anything that has to do with learning about another culture. Understanding our culture and why we do what we do, think the way we think, etc. interests me! But learning about other cultures fascinates me! The more cultures I experience and learn about, the more I see how beautiful this world is and how awesome God's heart for His people is. I've also come to realize, we aren't so different from eachother. We have the same desire to be loved and accepted. We hurt the same. We laugh. We cry. We all want to believe that there is something greater than us at work in our lives. That we were created for a purpose.

This is why I have travel lust.

Knowing that the world is much bigger than the bubble you have been living in your whole life, changes you. There's so much to learn from other people and their homeland. I have my parents, ORU, my summers in China, and the travel channel to thank for showing me that we truly do live in a beautiful world.

So my summer after China has been spent dealing with the fianacial aid office of my university (ORU) and getting addicted to the Travel Channel. I now want to visit two destinations. One visited by Uncle Tony and the other one by Samantha the weekend chick (don't know her last name).

Anthony Bourdain's first love is Vietnam.

Samantha went to Argentina for a weekend.

Its cheap and beautiful. This part of Argentina is called La Boca.

Do you have the travel bug?

CATCH IT!!!!!

Love, Jovy

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-03T06:50:00.000-07:00

The way I see it #76

2009-06-02T07:07:00.000-07:00

(Yes I am going to be another one of those bloggers who blogs about the quote from the Starbucks cup: "The Way I see it #76." Bare with me.)

"The irony of commitment is that it is deeply liberating- in work, in play, in love. The act frees us from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life."

How beautiful and so liberating is that! I don't want to go off on a long blog about how I love this quote and what it means to me. I just wanted to post it! It's something I want to keep in my memory. Something I want to think about. Something I want to live out loud.

I say you should drink a hot cup of coffee (or tea, or chocolate milk) and think about what this means to you!

Love, Jovy

Ps. I did not take that picture. I found it on google images. But my friend actually had it on her cup while we were at Starbucks!

Just another blog...

2009-05-31T08:39:00.000-07:00

I am currently in my apartment in China.

I took a way too long nap this afternoon (naps for me are never just 15-20 minutes long, sometimes I feel guilty about it, but most times I don't care). Now it is currently 11:42 p.m and the scary thought that I will not hear my alarm tomorrow or that I will wake up later than I desire is racing through my head. About 3 hours ago I decided to create a new blog!!!!! I have a wordpress blog about my heart for China and the times I have traveled here, but I was temped to try out Blogger since I know of many people who have used it! So far it's pretty sweet!!

And so this is my first entry on Love, Life, and God (so not original but it's okay).

I'm not sure who will read this blog. I have another one, maybe 2 is too much to keep up with. I might regret having 2 !!! But this one is different as I am realizing that God is showing me way too many cool things about Love, Life, and His Heart For Me to just keep to myself. I'm also afraid I'll forget it all someday when all of life's "things" begin to distract me. Oh how I dread the thought that someday I'll look at myself in the mirror and wish to be that woman full of passion and love for life and God that I "used" to be. Let's hope that never happens. I hope that one day I'll look in the mirror and see how much my passion for life and my love for God has grown. And then I'll get to look back at all my entries and see how tall I've grown (and probably laugh at myself, maybe cry, and most likely edit all the grammatical errors that I am bound to make).

That's all for now!

Love,
Jovy

"Be like those who stay the coarse with committed faith and then get everything promised to them." Heb. 6:11-12